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5 ways to cope when life suddenly changes

Life can change suddenly, and when things change, a lot of negative emotions tend to come with it. Uncertainty, stress, anxiety, helplessness, and fear…just to name a few. And if left unchecked and allowed to persist, these emotions can take a real toll on our minds and body. So, the question is then, how do you deal with a sudden change to make it through unscathed?

How do you deal with sudden change?

Although it’s important to know that a negative reaction to change is normal, it’s even more vital to accept that this is just an initial reaction as the brain processes what’s been thrown at it.

It can be very easy to stay within this spiral, especially if you have the personality type that prefers the status quo over seeking novelty, but this is very detrimental to our mental health.

To help your brain adjust to any sudden change in your life – a change that is causing you turmoil – here are 5 strategies that will help.

1. Don’t fight it, try to accept it 

Suffering is what occurs when we resist what is already happening, so naturally, the best way to deal with it is to stop fighting and start accepting. 

Obviously, this is easier said than done, since initial resistance to change is an evolutionary response within us as our brain shifts into protective mode. Like everything, however, with some training, our brains can learn to accept change and adapt to a different routine. 

Rather than wishing things were different, try flowing with this change of circumstance instead. Focus on:

  • Being present in each moment.
  • The things you can control (your to-do list, self-care, the work for the future).

2. Remind yourself that even good change can cause stress

A promotion, going to university, buying a house, having a baby…even major life changes that are positive can cause a considerable amount of stress. So why, if these same conflict sensors are activated, can we deal with ‘positive’ change better? 

When it’s a negative change, our brain defaults to a negative bias for safety. Essentially this means that when there is uncertainty, our brain automatically expects the worst as it doesn’t like the odds of equations with unknown variables.

So how do you deal with sudden change if it’s negative?

  • Recognise that your brain will go into an automatic negativity bias.
  • Redirect uncertainty by repeating neutral self-talk phrases out loud – e.g. “Uncertainty simply means I don’t know the future. It does not mean the future is bad.”
  • Reframe your perspective – focus on positive details as much as possible and try to find an opportunity or lesson in the situation. 

3. Make a plan to help deal with this change

How do you deal with sudden change that brings so much uncertainty and anxiety with it? You take control of what you can.

Start by making a plan and setting yourself goal intentions. I say “intentions” because you don’t want to put too much pressure on yourself during an already stressful time. Setting some goals, however, will help you feel in control of your life again. So what do you intend to do? Do you want to focus on self-care or your business development during this time? Whatever it is, be specific and add an actual time to it. E.g. I will meditate for 10 minutes every morning or I will focus on business development for 20 minutes every Tuesday and Friday. 

4. Keep up your regular schedule as much as possible

The more change that is happening, the more important it is to stick to your regular schedule. Again, this comes down to you taking control of what you can. The more control that you have, the less uncertain you will feel and the more able you will be to accept the changes that are happening around you.

Having some things that stay the same, like getting up at 8 am and checking the news with a cup of tea or settling down before bed to read a chapter of your book, give us an anchor. These routines and habits remind us that some things stay the same and that’s calming for the brain.

If you’re very stressed and anxious, try writing down your routine so that you can tick it off as you go each day. It’s one less thing for your brain to think about.

5. Exercise often

We all know that exercise is good for us: it boosts our mood, helps us sleep better, keeps us healthy, and it significantly reduces symptoms of depression. 

Exercise should be added into our daily routine so that it gets done, so find what works for you. If you’re used to regular exercise then three or four moves, three or four days a week for 15-20 minutes per session is enough to stay strong. If you don’t want to go to the gym, invest in gym equipment at home or you can use household items for certain exercises. You may prefer to clean your home or just put on some music and dance around the living room? Whatever it is, it’s important to get moving to get those endorphins flowing.